My Heart

Just wanted to share a little of my heart.
This past weekend was so much fun. I was so moved by how many people came to celebrate.
After looking back on our pictures and videos, I was able to see what I look like now to everyone else.

I have not lost all of my pregnancy weight. 

There I said it.

I am still hanging on to 8 pounds.
It wavers between 8 and 9 pounds on a daily basis.
After watching myself on video, I realized that, yes, I may still have 8/9 pounds of baby weight and I may look a little more chubby and not as solid, but I am still ok. I am still my husband's bride. I am still God's daughter and I am still healthy.  I don't eat crazy, nasty food....all the time. I don't drink my calories....often. And I don't eat out too much.

Daniel, Kinsley and I on her birthday..

 Kinsley and I on Mother's Day

I will not focus on my 8/9 pounds.

I will not focus on my extra weight around my middle or my thighs, or wherever else I think looks heavier.

I will workout and eat healthy.

I will wear shorts and tank tops.

I will eat at Chick-Fila if the need arises.

I will buy cute clothes for the summer.

I will be active and outdoors often.

I will wear a bathing suit...ok, this makes me cringe a little...to be honest... AND for the record my bathing suit consists of a skirt swim bottom and tankini... 

My whole point in this rant is that even though I have this lingering weight I am still beautiful. Do I really think that I am beautiful...not all the time. Do I think that I am a hottie with a body...not really.  But I am beautiful to my Lord who made me and formed me and used my body to make Kinsley. He used me as a vessel to make the most beautiful creature, what an honor that HE would allow ME to be HER mother... so if I have to battle these 8/9 pounds for a while, I will take it and I will remember that I am still beautiful.
I will not put myself down.
I will pray and love and enjoy this precious blessing and focus my attention on praising the One who made this life possible.

If you are feeling or have ever felt this way, I encourage you to do the same. I encourage you to still eat healthy, workout, do your hair...BUT let that not be your main focus. I pray you realize what the Lord used you for when creating your child and be grateful.

As I wipe my tears...probably the first time I have cried when writing a post... I want to leave you with this... Psalm 139:13-16

"For you created my inmost being;
   you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
   your works are wonderful,
   I know that full well.
 My frame was not hidden from you
   when I was made in the secret place,
   when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
   all the days ordained for me were written in your book
   before one of them came to be."